Things I Don't Understand: A List Compiled After a Good Shearing

After getting sheared at a local barbershop, I was driving home in my trusty (sometimes) Jimmy. I had turned my radio off and sat in silence contemplating all the things I just don't understand. I decided I'd make a list of the things I don't get. Some of them are way beyond me, and some are things I should probably know by now. Whatever the case, here they are.

1.) Radio waves

2.) Why Kelly dated Screech in that one episode of Saved by the Bell

3.) The Internet

4.) Engines (small, medium, large)

5.) Algebra

6.) Coffee beans and how they flavor them

7.) Who looked at a cow for the first time and said: "Hmm...I think I'll drink whatever comes out of that baggy thing."

8.) Algebra I

9.) The theory of relativity

10.) Christopher Walken's talent

11.) Why Star Wars is cool

12.) Algebra II

13.) Indiana driving

14.) Lightening

15.) The fun of card games

16.) Tide Wrinkle Release

17.) Women and fuzzy socks

18.) Why people think Mark Sanchez and Tony Romo are elite quarterbacks

19.) Why people smile in mug shots

20.) The necessity of adult footy pajamas